Insomnia
by Lil.Miss.Moonie
Summary: Brief descriptions of what the Degrassi student body dreams of.
1. Clare

**Clare Edwards**

Clare's dreams are exactly what you'd expect: simple, subtle, extremely boring; but in her eyes, Clare's dreams are everything she wants. She dreams of school, of course. She just made the honour roll; again. So in Clareland everyone is patting her on the back and cheering when she walks by. K.C. would appear and give her a big bear hug - because school isn't for relationships and kissing will get them in trouble - and he would walk alongside her with a proud expression on his face.

When she has nightmares, it's almost always about K.C. He goes back to his old ways and gets into a fist fight with someone else, or he gets angry at Clare and yells at her. And when Clare isn't terrified and crying in the corners of dreams, she dreams of Darcy. Darcy comes back to Degrassi and Clare can no longer wear Darcy's clothes in her absence and has to go back to wearing her old private school uniform. People begin to forget Clare as she blends into the walls and rotates around the media room. K.C. stays by her side because he isn't the cause of her nightmare and therefore a loyal boyfriend.

When Clare awakes from her dreams, she feels dissapointed because her world could never be as perfect as she wishes.  
When Clare awakes from a nightmare, she is afraid because when Darcy comes home, she knows she won't be able to keep up to the status quo her sister sets.

Clare can never be satisfied.

**Next: Gavin "Spinner" Mason**


	2. Spinner

**Gavin "Spinner" Mason**

Spinner has always ruled the world of Degrassi. He's done just about everything and gone through more than any student or adult could ever imagine. Somewhere between crippling his best friend, getting cancer, dealing with the awkward perks of puberty, falling in and out of love, and getting shot, Spinner manages to dream. In his mind, he finally married Jane after she graduated Degrassi, and got accepted in police college. Spinner would still work at the Dot because he loves working there with Holly J. and seeing his friends every day. His life would be perfect because in Spinner's mind, anything that could possibly go wrong, somehow couldn't go wrong.

On the rare nights that Spinner has nightmares, his life would be a living hell. After Jane dumps him, Spinner suddenly gets a call from the doctor to learn that his cancer came back. Jimmy would never forgive him for putting him in a chair for his life. All the crap in Spinner's past that he tried to pretend never happened would suddenly rear up and rain on his head like a typhoon, and just when he finally ran out of things to hate about himself, he would start suffering the consequences of things that _could _have happened. What if Jay never stopped him from burning the school's yearbooks and torching the school? Or if he decided to fight Bruce instead of going to the doctor and dealing with his cancer like he should have? These things just make his nightmares more unbearable.

After a dream, Spinner yawns and stretches and prepares for the day because, even if his dreams don't come true, his life is still amazing.  
When Spinner wakes up in a sweat after a nightmare, he tries hard not to reflect on his past, because deep inside he thinks he's a bad person.

It amazes Spinner how many second chances he's been given.

**Next: Ellie Nash**


	3. Ellie

**Ellie Nash**

Ellie is confused about everything in her life. She doesn't know why her karma is out of whack; regardless of what good or bad she does, she's likely to get kicked in the pants for her actions. So, in search of peace from her difficult life, Ellie turns to her dreams. When she's falls asleep, Craig is there, waiting for her. He would stroke her face ever so gently, because Ellie's become fragile. He wants to kiss her, but instead he wraps his arms around her and doesn't want to let her go. Ellie knows he only wants to protect her. In Craig's arms, Ellie can hear her mother and father laughing, and she knows that the two of them are sitting at a table, drinking coffee. Their laughing because it's Ellie's dream, and she hasn't heard them do that together in a long, long time.

But more often than not, Ellie has nightmares. She's afraid to look at Craig when she has a nightmare because she _knows _she's having a nightmare. She tries to look away from Craig at these times, but she can't; she can't close her eyes or turn her head or wake up. She has to stare while Craig destroys himself with drugs or abandons her for another woman. In her worst dreams, Craig stares at Ellie right back. The familiar look he gets in his eyes when he sees her - the joyous look filled with endless years of memories - is gone. He sees her as a stranger and when they make eye contact Ellie feels her heart shatter. She still hears her parents, but they aren't laughing. They aren't making any sounds, but Ellie can hear the silence between them. She isn't sure what it means, but somehow, the empty echo of silence hurts just as much as Craig's stare does.

After one of Ellie's dreams, she cries because she has to wake up.  
After a nightmare, she cries because no matter how many times she wakes up, she'll have to fall asleep again.

Ellie's life has now become beyond repair.

**Next: Toby Isaacs**


	4. Toby

**Toby Isaacs**

Toby thinks he's had a pretty low-maintenance life. He believes never really had to go through all the drama other students at Degrassi have. He's suffered quietly as he watched the world around him grow. So when Toby dreams, it's more of a nightmare. He dreams that he's in someone else's shoes, going through what he never did. He would dream he had done things differently, that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant, or caught an STD, or started cutting himself. Toby would completely forget about what he actually went through; getting caught looking at porn, not eating to get onto the wrestling team, even getting beat up on more than one occasion. He would just slink into the corners of his mind and deal with his imaginary problems.

When he has nightmares, they're easily confused with him being awake. He would live his life normally, because in his nightmares, Toby had no control. He would be back in Degrassi with Liberty, still watching her behind closed eyes or turned heads because Toby has loved Liberty since he met her. JT would be alive again, and Toby would have to live JT's death over and over again. He would have to stand still and watch as the people around him suffered; him unable to offer help because he has no idea what they were going through. He would try to help his friends deal with mistakes, losses, and lies; he would try to comfort the people he loved, but he couldn't because he was so in the dark.

Toby hates his dreams. They make him feel selfish.  
Toby hates his nightmares. They keep coming true.

He really needs to see his life from someone else's eyes.

**Next: Alli Bhandari**


	5. Alli

**Alli Bhandari**

Alli is tired of following her Muslim religion, that much is obvious. So one would naturally think her dreams would consist of her being a normal, non-gifted teenage girl whose parents don't have her following her religion like a dog on a leash. One would be very correct. In Alli's mind, she has freedom. In consciousness, Sav has freedom - which is completely unfair and a sure sign of favouritism between children - so in Alli's dream world, her parents are constantly punishing Sav for being Sav. The tables are turned; Alli gets to wear what she wants, when she wants, and is openly allowed to date Johnny. She's still in the gifted class because being smart _and _beautiful will work out in the future.

After losing her virginity to Johnny, Alli has more nightmares than normally. Here, her nightmares consist of her parents favouring Sav again, and making her wear the same thing. Every. Single. Day. If that isn't horrible enough, Johnny of course breaks up with her for looking gross. And, the icing on the cake, Alli gets kicked out the gifted class. It's not like she can concentrate on schoolwork with all this emotional distress going on in her life. It becomes very obvious that the entire school is out to get her. She knows Holly J. is probably behind it all, but can't do anything because you have almost no control when you have a nightmare.

After a dream, Alli giggles because watching Sav get in trouble is hilarious.  
After a nightmare, she huffs and folds her arms because that could actually happen _any _day now.

Alli is so vain.

**Next: Riley Stavros**


	6. Riley

**Riley Stavros**

Riley has been suffering recently. Very confused, Riley's dreams are a mixed sample of muscular boys and lanky girls. Recently, he hasn't been dreaming sweetly, but when he does, it's usually about boys. Sometimes he would be sitting somewhere beautiful - overlooking a sunset at the beach or sitting under a moonlit sky - with another guy. Sometimes he was muscular, like Riley, other times he was thin and fragile. But mostly, Riley's dreams have been swarmed by two different subjects: Peter or sex. Never both. Sex was always with girls. She would kiss her way down his neck, and no matter how hard Riley tried, he couldn't get himself to _enjoy _it. He just couldn't get through this dream and would very often ended up awaking in the middle of the night. When he dreams about Peter, he slept soundly. It didn't really matter what Peter was doing or where he was; just seeing his best friend's face comforted through the night.

Nightmares come almost every night. It's always the same one - Riley being ridiculed for his sexuality. Everyone he knew would stand over him and laugh. And they truly are standing over him because in this nightmare, Riley feels very small, and therefore is. People would point and yell, "Look! It's the football fag!" and jeer and taunt him like he was some ugly animal in a zoo with no feelings. Riley always wanted to sob during this dream, but couldn't because - even in his dreams - he had a reputation and would not, absolutely _not _be thought of as weak. So while people make fun of him, Riley just hangs his head and feels ashamed. The only good thing about his nightmares is the lack of Peter's face. But in return of this one little ounce of peace, every person had his voice.

Riley can't handle his dreams because they either make him feel sick or feel dirty.  
Riley's nightmares shake him because they remind of what will happen if he doesn't either stay in the closet and bolt it shut, or fix himself.

Pity the boy who is controlled by his dreams.

**Next: Manny Santos**


	7. Manny

**Manny Santos**

If Manny walked by, and people began whispering, she would know _exactly _what they were talking about. It wasn't a rumor that Manny had dated, hooked up with, or crushed on more guys than any girl at Degrassi; she knew it, too. It wasn't so much that she was proud of it, but she accepted it. So when she manages to fall asleep at night, her dreams are as clear as her idea of herself. She would be an actress, of course, but not as big as one would expect. In Manny's dreams, she is married to Jay, because regardless of how much she can't stand him, she knows he'll be there for her no matter what. Her father gives Manny his blessings and Manny's life is perfect. While asleep, she smiles because she really misses the joyous feeling that wells up inside her whenever the people around her are happy.

But, of course, a drama queen needs dramatic nightmares, too. She dreams of rejection; auditions fail miserably, Jay falls in love with someone completely different and never speaks to Manny again, and her father returns to his dictator-like ways. When Manny's dreams take a turn for the worst, her eyebrows furrow as she sleeps. Nightmares are especially hard for Manny because everything in her mind is coming from her own imagination. Every horrible thing someone says about her in her nightmares is basically her own opinion of herself. So at times when Manny tried to better herself because she thought she was fat or a horrible actress, it would be very easy to guess what she dreamt about.

Manny's dreams are what most people's dreams are: ambitions that keep you aiming for your goals.  
Manny's nightmares are similar to her dreams: flaws that she needs to improve to reach her goals.

Maybe Manny's idea of herself isn't as clear as she thought.

**Next: Derek Haig**


	8. Derek

**Derek Haig**

When someone mentions Derek's name, words like jerk, annoying, and short come to mind. Derek can't help the way he acts; it's just the way he is. He's all right with it - in public. After a long day, when Derek finds his way onto his mattress, his dreams are questions he asks himself and answers he doesn't know. He would run through millions of faces, trying to imagine his mother's. When asleep, Derek wonders if she has brown hair like he does, or if she has his blue eyes. Derek has gone through about a billion faces in his lifetime, but he never recognizes any of them. On nights when he isn't shuffling through human features, he dreams about Danny - about how they shadowed each other before drifting apart come senior year. Derek loves Danny like a brother, but there was no way he would ever say that out loud, because saying the word "love" to a guy would instantly mark him with a "homo" status. So he'll have to tell him with punches on the shoulder and dry humor.

Derek, like any other normal person, has the occasional nightmare. He dreams of his future - of what would happen if he completely screwed up these last few semesters and didn't get into a good college. But that's just the lesser of two evils. On bad nights, Derek dreams the night his mother gave him up. He doesn't know if she died or just couldn't take care of him, but in nightmares, the worst suspicion always comes out. He would imagine the look of disgust on a face he could never remember as it cast him away. Derek would very often wake up in the middle of the night after this and try desperately to remember that face, but he never could. Danny was never in his nightmares. There was nothing bad about him.

His dreams aren't really dreams as much as they are memories and his lust for memories.  
His nightmares aren't as much nightmares as they are signs desperation.

I imagine Derek must get tired of sleeping.

**Next: Mia Jones**


	9. Mia

**Mia Jones**

Mia hasn't been able to relax since Isabella was born. She wonders how she even managed getting through school. However, the embarrassment of walking around the school with an extended stomach is one thing Mia would much rather relive than her current busy life. Luckily, she has trained herself to completely lose consciousness the second she hits her mattress. After a hard day, Mia would dream she was a superhero. She would be able to fly from school to photo shoots to day care in the blink of an eye. Peter, of course, would be there; with all the spare time Mia had, that meant more cuddling time with Peter. Izzy would have to be there, because no matter what, Mia does _not _regret the birth of her child.

But everyone - even SuperMia - needs to have nightmares. Modelling would fail horribly, and Mia would always feel vain because this nightmare would always shake her the worst. Even more than some nightmares where Izzy would get hurt because Mia's life would be too hectic to save her daughter from falling down the stairs or wandering into a busy intersection. For some reason, Mia would try to run into the woods, because she knew that Peter would be there. But sometimes she would find him, but every time she took a step toward him, he took two steps away; sometimes she wouldn't find him at all. A quick summary of Mia's nightmares would be something like, "You can't model; your boyfriend doesn't love you; you're a bad mother; you fail." In a way, Mia is lucky because she can tell that this is just a nightmare.

After dreaming peacefully, Mia laughs and shakes her head; her subconscious is so silly.  
After a night of terror, Mia chuckles and rolls her eyes; she has quite an imagination.

Maybe Mia _is_ a superhero. Nothing seems to scare her anymore.

**Next: K.C. Guthrie**


	10. KC

**K.C. Guthrie**

The first thing K.C. wants to mention is that he's _not _going to tell you what K.C. stands for. He tells people to figure it out for themselves. But you know he's kidding because he says it with a smirk; K.C. says everything with a smirk. Initially, K.C. is a happy person. This is especially true in his dreams, because when he's asleep, K.C. doesn't have a past. It never happened, simple as that. He doesn't live in a group home, but back with his parents. And of course Clare is in his dreams. K.C. loves Clare for three reasons: 1, she's smart; 2, she's beautiful; and 3, the two of them work. They fit like two mismatched puzzle pieces; they belong to completely different puzzles, yet somehow they manage to stick. In his dreams, K.C. always tell Clare his puzzle metaphor and she would laugh and fix her hair in the cute way she does. In real life, K.C. doesn't want to tell Clare about them as puzzles, because he's afraid that is she doesn't giggle the same way she does in his dreams, she might not giggle in his dreams anymore.

And then he has nightmares. At first, K.C.'s nightmares start out as dreams. But when he tells Clare about the puzzle pieces, she doesn't laugh; she rolls her eyes and says something bitchy and _that's_ when K.C. knows he's having a nightmare. The second he realizes it, everything spirals. He's suddenly back at the night where he stole a car with his old friends. Sometimes he's in the car, other times he's standing by the car. Either time, he gets an urge to look over his shoulder and sees Clare, staring him down furiously. He sees the look on her face and can't feel ashamed because this person doesn't look like Clare. She has Clare's face and her long, beautiful hair - she's even wearing one of Clare's outfits - but she doesn't have Clare's eyes. K.C. doesn't know who this girl is, but he can't move when she's looking at him.

K.C.'s dreams are the only thing that make him feel truly happy... besides Clare's laugh.  
K.C.'s nightmares are the only thing that truly scare him... besides losing Clare.

He should be careful; before love turns to lust.

**Next: Holly J Sinclair**


	11. Holly J

**Holly J Sinclair**

Holly J feels like a queen. Awake and asleep, things just seem to go the way they should for her. While asleep, Holly J's mind brings sorts of surprises. She sees herself a natural born winner, which is true enough, and in her mind, there's always meaningless competition. There's always someone there for her to crush, always an obstacle for her to overcome. All Holly J really wants to is have fun at what she does best. Of course, Declan is in her dreams, too. Declan has become the most important part of her life, the two of them embracing in the midst of her dreams is all she really wants. He is the only thing in Holly J's life - and in her mind - that can overcome the urge to win. So, tonight, when Holly J closes her eyes, she's going to dream of him, maybe save some time for winning, but mostly him.

But even Miss Degrassi has nightmares. It's not as though she can't control them, but she has them. Declan is never in her nightmares, which is something Holly J can almost never fathom. She almost had to go through that experience in life, but having an empty spot in her dreams where Declan should be eats away at her heart faster than any other relationship she's been through. In her nightmares, Holly J is a loser, a failure, an outcast, a ne'er do well; whatever you want to call it, she become the anti-herself. Pile this on top of being alone and you're in for a place so deep in Holly J's mind you may never want to venture in there again. Strangely enough, Blue lingers in her nightmares, floating around uselessly, unimportant, ineffective. She has no idea why he's there, but his presence adds to the creepy, unflattering mood.

Holly J uses her dreams to remind herself, "Keep it up and every day can be like that."

Holly J uses her nightmares to remind herself, "Keep it up, or every day will be like that."

Leave it to Holly J to take control of what she can't control.

**Next: Peter Stone**

_(AN: Sorry, about the absence, but I plan to update until chapter 16 or so of this story. Gotta prep for season 10! Plus, maybe we'll be able to learn a little bit more about the characters so I can add chapters about some of the Degrassi enigmas. What do we really know about Connor?)_


	12. Peter

**Peter Stone**

Peter has begun to wonder just how he fits in with Degrassi. It's no surprise that he has no idea - Peter's been an angel, the spawn of Satan, your best friend, and the resident asshole more times than he can count. It's not that he's a bad guy, it's just that he like to think with every part of his body _but_ his brain. Although, without a brain, Peter wouldn't be able to dream at night. Which he does, feverishly, I might add. On a good night, Peter will dream like every other guy. Sometimes he'll dream about girls, sometimes his dreams make no sense. Some nights he'll dream about Darcy or Mia; some nights he'll dream about Darcy _and_ Mia, and then he'll have no idea what to do when he wakes up. He finds it strange how everyone Peter has ever really loved has moved to a different country. It's gotten to the point where he's afraid to fall in love again. He doesn't mind though, because they're only dreams, right?

Nightmares are a different story, though. Peter's nightmares piss him off. It seems that no matter how hard he tries, he can't help but act like a jerk. There are nights when he'll have a "normal" nightmare, like being attacked by a werewolf, or something equally stupid, but he hates his realistic ones the most. Peter hates himself in his head because he really begins to think he just sucks overall. What kind of idiot purposefully does the stupid crap he knows he's done consciously? In all honesty, if Peter had a chance to fix one mistake in his life, it would probably be the day he was born. But then he wakes up, thinking about how dumb he's being and how everybody makes mistakes and how if he keeps thinking this way he's going to seriously mess up his head.

His dreams suck. It's barely fun when Peter wakes up and can't stop thinking.  
His nightmares suck. It never fun when Peter wakes up and can't stop hating.

Peter's getting really sick of himself.

**Next: Fiona Coyne**

_(AN: Fiona's gonna be a tough one! Wish me luck! And thanks to all you awesome folks and your awesome reviews. -group hug-)_


End file.
